I recently discovered the persuasive qualities of promising chocolate milk to Toddler in Chief. I needed him to sit still so that he could have his picture taken. I needed to trim his bangs. If you ____ (fill in the blank with needed task), then I'll give you some chocolate milk.

You could call it bribery; I call it discipline in the works. He's learned that he wants chocolate milk. He's also learned that when he does what I need him to do, he gets a reward--in addition to a big hug.

There are also things that TIC does not want, like leaving the park immediately, time-outs, and no trains for the rest of the day. And when he does the wrong thing--snatching a toy out of turn, throwing unwanted dinner on the floor, or clawing a friend's arm--he gets something taken away. Time-outs work wonders. And so do these types of real consequences.

I slapped TIC's hand once to discourage him from putting his fingers in the outlets. Not only did TIC go for the outlets with more gusto to get my reaction, he started slapping me. Kids are the biggest imitators. And sometimes kids want a reaction and your attention. And a smack, a spanking, or a tight grip, give the wanted response fueling more bad behavior. But an unemotional consequence, like removing the kid from the hot spot or taking away the toy in question teaches cause and effect. "If you do that again, I'm going to take the trains away." I only had to do that once. He knows I'm serious. He loves his trains.

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