Sharing your daily life with your kids is a great thing—until they start to think for themselves. At that point, parents need to expand their children’s horizons beyond picking up the dry cleaning.
Let’s be frank, here. “Overprogramming” children is a problem unique to certain strata of society who have 1) discretionary income and 2) enough leisure time to spend it. It’s especially a concern in households where both parents work, because most psychologists will tell you that daycare is enough of a structured environment for anyone under 3. I intermittently fall into the first category, but my wife stays home with the boys. Therefore, we believe they should be exposed to a good deal of organized activity outside of the house—and not just because we love to leave our tiny, crap-infested Laid-Off Lair.
Getting involved in organized classes and clinics teaches kids to interact with different peers and authority figures, an important skill as they get ready to attend school. They also come in contact with much more language, which enhances their communications skills. If, for example, our kid takes a music class that ignites a lifelong passion, that’s just gravy. (Because let’s face it. Musicians get major babes.)
But at what point does getting your kid involved in all these activities take over your own life? My wife's cousin has her kids enrolled in so many activities I don't even recognize her any more, her soul has been devoured and she has absolutely nothing to say beyond how well her son is doing at t-ball or her daughter at gymnastics or any of the other 12 freakin' things they do.
I have to think it's better for a kid to see you doing something you love and to do it with her in order to provide a model for attaining something close to actual happiness in life. because she may be brilliant musician or athete during her youth, but there's a chance she's going to waste hours of her adult life on a therapist's couch if you make yourself miserable and sacrifice your own passions and identity for her.
Not to say that's how it is for you, LOD, clearly that's not the case. But it the case for thousands---if not millions---of parents across the country.
Posted by: Dutch | Oct 19, 2005 1:16:38 PM