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Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Wow.

You had me for a while there. I can understand a couple deciding not to have the baby in bed with them. It’s disruptive, especially when you have a son like mine, who sleeps like a flounder in a rowboat. But holy smokes. Quoting people as widely discredited as the Ezzos? Not once, but twice? And describing co-sleeping as “toxic”? I’m speechless. Seriously. As I’m typing this right now, I can’t speak a word.

Co-sleeping isn’t for everybody, and setting a new baby up in a separate nursery with a monitor is just fine. The baby cries, you stagger in, hold him to your chest, and convince him that this strange new world didn’t vaporize while he was unconscious. But when supposedly learned people start telling parents to make a child with no object permanence fend for himself emotionally by ignoring his cries, possibly until he vomits, I just don’t get it. Especially when the after-effects of CIO might not be so “short-lived.”

We liked co-sleeping with Son1 very much, until moved to his crib at 10+ months, and we like co-sleeping with Son2 now. We like the empathy that Son1 shows when he interacts with his little brother. We don’t know if it’s related, but we like to think it is.

And when we want to be alone? We like to get creative.

Permalink | Co-sleeping | Comments (3)

Comments

Just because a mother does not co-sleep does not mean she lets her child cry till he/she vomits. I never co-slept with my Pumpkin, but I also never used the CIO method. I am sure there are many parents like myslef that put their child to sleep in their own room at night but also answer to all their childs needs, nomatter the hour.

Posted by: Ms. Mama | Oct 27, 2005 5:08:45 AM

I think you can be an effective parent without letting your child sleep with you. My parents only put me in thier bed if I was ill. I turned out greaat and so did my brother and sister. We are all very successful and well rounded. I know people who slept in the bed with thier parents and they are very needy to this very day. My ex-husband slept in the bed with his parents until he was about five and he is a nut case. My current husband was raised like me and he is very well rounded, plus putting them out of the bed is very hard. My daughter tried to sleep with me and I would not let her. She knows she is very loved.

Posted by: Mrs C | Oct 27, 2005 11:26:57 PM

We did a combination of co-sleep and own bed sleep. Often we put our daughter to bed in her own crib, but we also had a co-sleeper attached to our bed. When she was very little and woke 3 or 4 times a night to nurse, I would put her to sleep in the co-sleeper. Then when we went to bed, she was right there to pull over, and latch on. When she would wake, hubby or I would go get her, and I would nurse her in our bed. Often both of us would fall back to sleep. Sometimes I would slide her over into the co-sleeper, other times, she would sleep in between the 2 of us. Once the night feedings ended, she slept in her own crib. Now, often time when she and her older brother wake in the morning, they crawl in bed with us for a short "cuddle" time. I wouldn't give it up for the world.

Posted by: Amanda Thomas | Nov 1, 2005 10:36:05 AM

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